Simply Enough

Since my pending Instagram posts are getting longer than the word-limit, I decided to bite the bullet and start a blog! I've thought about doing this for such a long time, but I kept telling myself "I'll do it when I have some free time maybe", and "I doubt anyone would really want to read my mind"... BUT today I can't ignore the idea any longer. I'm sure I won't stop critiquing every word, but if this online journal makes one person draw Up on some Strength, or just look at Life with a Smile, then here we go!

Last spring my good friend proposed a challenge on her social media: to trust that “I am enough”… to let go of the pressure I place on myself to be more and do more. Since I didn’t respond the first time, I suppose now is better than never.

I blurred the background of this pic not to hide the messy room, but to bring into focus the unguarded moment where "I am enough" for my kids' entertainment. :-)

While I know there is value in doing the best I can (as a wife, mom, daughter, sister, Christian, physical therapist AND patient), God still loves me in the messes I make.

It’s pretty easy for me to see the beauty and the GOoD in everyone else, but sometimes I’m just not satisfied with myself. The last 18 months have been the hardest on me physically and mentally. I had my second baby… another spine surgery… and there were times I felt pretty glum about the “slow progress” to try to "bounce back". (OK, so I'm totally cool with adapting expectations and I realize that I have to respect current physical limitations on my body if I want to have *longevity* of my spine and health. I was a collegiate pole vaulter over a *decade* ago, and my goals have obviously changed from being able to squat 315 pounds to being able to carry my two kids up a flight of stairs... but even the ability to touch my toes again takes a lot of warming up right now!)

Despite all my frustrations, God remains faithful to His promises (shocker right? 😆). Truly, He doesn't ever change His mind about His Love -I've just had to change MY attitude about finding a Purpose to every struggle. I'm in a great space right now, but even at my lowest points -physically, mentally, nutritionally, spiritually- HE always provides Enough. Because God is GOoD, I have everything I need...

Just in the last month: I've had enough compassion to be the "vomit-catcher" of a sick little girl. I've had enough endurance (and caffeine) to manage a full schedule of patients during the day and a rotten sleeper/ Mama’s boy at night. I've had enough humor and patience to keep my kids from climbing into the dishwasher, eating bugs and dirt, putting a whole role of toilet paper in the potty, and spilling alllllll the shampoo on their heads.

While motherhood has made me pause many of my former freedoms, I am so thankful for my kiddos who often regard me as God does...for example, they are so Happy & Excited just to see me when I enter their rooms every morning -it doesn't matter if I'm unshowered and no makeup. My daughter thinks I'm good at fixing boo-boo's, and my son loves to snuggle into my side (I'm assuming he wouldn't find it so comfy if I was all muscle without some "fluff"). As much as I can relate to God as a parent, my kids show me God’s love in a different way since they tend to see the best in me even when I feel like I’m not doing “enough”.

Until I have no more breath in me, my Life goal is to stay Faithful & Flexible. I'm sure I will struggle with many of the same things that deal with body image and abilities, the pressure to please, and the world's definition of success. I just have to remain ever-mindful of God's Truth: that He loves each of His Children & He bears our pain -but He defeated death! ...all because He says I am worthy to be His forever... I am enough, and so are you! XO